When Letting Go Feels So Hard: Faith and Healing in the Empty Nest Season

When Letting Go Feels So Hard

Hello sweet friend,

Are you new to empty nesting, or have you been here for a while like me? I want you to know something right from the start—I see you. And even more importantly, God sees you and hears you.

When Everything Changes

When my girls moved out, I felt completely lost. I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore. Yes, I was (and am) a believer, but I still felt helpless and alone. I cried many tears.

For over ten years, I’ve been trying to understand what God had next for me.

You see, being a mama was all I ever wanted. So, when that season changed, I found myself asking… what now?

Trying to “Help” Too Much

If you asked my daughters, they would probably tell you I was the kind of mama who always wanted to “help” or “fix” everything. I truly believed I knew what was best. I wanted them to think like me, feel like me, and make the choices I would make.

And even after they moved out… that didn’t stop.

I thought I was helping. I thought I was doing what was best for them. But I’ve come to realize—painfully—that it wasn’t.

A Hard but Needed Realization

Recently, I read a book my counselor suggested I give to my daughter (she knew I’d read it first—smart move on her part!). It’s called Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie and let me tell you—it was eye-opening.

Through that book, I realized something I hadn’t been willing to see before: I struggle with codependency.

My counselor had gently tried to tell me this before, but I just wasn’t ready to hear it. I was in denial. But this time, God used that book to open my eyes in a way I couldn’t ignore.

When the Holy Spirit Nudges

What’s even more humbling is this—long before I read that book, the Holy Spirit had already been nudging my heart:

Be still.

Listen more.

Speak less.

But I didn’t want to believe I was the problem. Pride can be sneaky like that.

Over the past year, I had been asking the Holy Spirit to show me where I needed to grow… not realizing this was one of the areas He wanted to reveal.

When God Answers Honestly

Let me gently say this:

When we ask the Holy Spirit to reveal things in our hearts—and we truly mean it—He will be faithful to answer. And sometimes, that answer can be eye-opening.

Learning to Let Go

If you’re a mama like me (or even still a little like me), I want to encourage you—change is possible.

It’s not easy. In fact, sometimes it feels almost impossible to bite your tongue and say nothing when you want to jump in. But I’m learning that stepping back is often the very best thing we can do.

Letting God Be God

The Holy Spirit continues to remind me of something powerful:

When I am in control, He is not.

He doesn’t need my help to work in my children’s lives. He doesn’t need me to fix anything. Only He has the power to truly change a heart.

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. — Isaiah 55:8

I once heard someone say that no one can change another person—not even themselves—without the Holy Spirit. Let that really sink in.

The Power of Praying Scripture

So instead of stepping in, I’m learning to step back—and pray.

And not just any prayers… but Scripture.

“So shall My word be that goes out from My mouth; it shall not return to Me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose.”— Isaiah 55:11

When we pray His Word over our children, we can trust that He is working—even when we don’t see it yet.

You Are Not Alone

Friend, I would truly love to hear from you.

Are you walking through the empty nest season too? Does it feel freeing… or does it feel heavy? Do you find yourself trying to “help” or “fix” others?

You don’t have to be an empty nester to relate to this—so wherever you are in life, I’d love to hear your heart.

You are not alone in this journey.

Blessings, my friend 🌻